Sorry Seems to be the hardest word
by BabyBlueStylesxoxo
Summary: Rachel makes a bad decision at 18. Now 5 years later, she is back in Lima, Ohio, And she will have to face up to her past which has separated her from the other Glee Clubbers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just a quick description of events leading up to this. **

**They won National's '11.**

**Puck held a party at his gaff to celebrate, he and Rachel got really drunk and blah, blah, and blah...She gets pregnant. (This was around May)**

**Apartment in town, seeing they are both 18.**

**She has a boy in November named Ryder James Berry-Puckerman.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

It was our first Christmas in the apartment. I was in the Kitchen Area making dinner, while Noah was in the living room with Ryder. Ryder was sitting in the bouncer sleeping and Noah was sitting on the sofa watching a re-run of "Home Alone". I smiled.

1 Month Later.

Noah was at work and His mom was babysitting Ryder for the day. I was starting to regret what I was about to do. I had packed my bags and was leaving. I couldn't do it anymore. I was too young for it; I was too young to be a mom, for living on my own. I wasn't on my own but you know what I mean. I grabbed a piece of paper.

_Noah,_

_I can't do this anymore._

_Sorry_

_Rachxx_

I went downstairs and threw my bags into the back of the cab.

"Airport please" I said handing him a fifty dollar bill.

"Of course, maim" He said grabbing it and driving.

I got there and went up to the desk.

"Hello, Miss" The secretary said

"Hi, um, when is your next flight" I asked

"Ah, there is a flight leaving for JFK in twenty minutes" She said

"Perfect" I said

"Just one?" She asked

"Yeah" I said

"One way or return" She asked again

"Um" I said "One way" She then looked at me weirdly

"Ah, we have a problem" She said

"What?" I asked

"Coach is fully booked" She said "There are 3 seats available in First class"

"Okay" I said

"But it will cost an extra 100 dollars" She said

"That will be fine" I said

"Okay, how many bags?" She asked

"4" I said

"And I'll have to see your passport as a form of ID" She said. I showed her it "Okay, Miss Berry" She said "1 first class ticket to JFK New York, with 4 bags and 1 carry on"

"Yeah"

"Alrighty" She said typing in something "That will be 468 dollars" I handed her 4 hundred dollar bills, a fifty, and a twenty.

"Just go that way to check in your luggage and have a safe journey" She said. I walked on. I put my bags on the conveyer belt.

"Okay, That will be 200 dollars" The woman said

"What?" I asked

"They are overweight" She said. I handed her the money and went on. When I boarded the plane and sat down, I looked out the window and felt tears welling up in my eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

"Now next up, she is a Broadway superstar, A movie star, a platinum recording artist, she has achieved this, all in past 4 years" The presenter said "She is about to give her most in depth interview yet, Please give it up to, Miss Rachel Berry" Everyone clapped as I walked out and hugged Lisa, the presenter of Hollywood Exclusive.

"Hi" I said sitting down on the couch.

"So, Rachel, 3 number 1 albums, 2 smash hit movies and a fantastic Broadway career, and your 23 in December"

"Guilty" I said

"Tell us how you got to this stardom" She asked

"Um, I was 18 when I landed in New York, January 2012, yeah, I didn't even finish High School" I said "The April after that I heard of an Audition for West side Story, I was so excited I couldn't wait. I got there and sang my best, but unfortunately I wasn't _their_ perfect Maria, but there was a producer there. He was looking for a female lead for a new film he had in production, and I caught his eye. Then I auditioned, got the part and that is where my career took off"

"What was it like filming, "Up and Coming"?" She asked

"It was my first movie, so I was pretty nervous; The other producers didn't think I was good enough in the beginning, but I obviously must have won them over, or I wouldn't be sitting here now, but, I loved it, I loved working alongside Taylor Lautner, he is such a good guy" I said

"Even though them relationship rumours started between you two?" She asked

"I still say, to this day, that we are friends, we have always been friends, nothing more" I said.

"So, we know, barely anything about your early life" Lisa said "We don't know where you were born, where you grew up, what you were like in High School"

"I was born and raised in Lima, Ohio, Escaped it luckily" I said "But I grew up not knowing my mom, because I had two gay dads' they used a surrogate..." I trailed off, _how long has it been since I told that story?_ I asked myself

"Two gay dad's" She said intrigued

"Yeah, but, we don't talk anymore, when I left, I did something, no one I was friends with in High School, any of my family, nobody from Lima talked to me after that" I said

"Okay" She said, knowing I was uncomfortable now "We have source saying that you were romantically linked to Jesse St. James the Broadway actor"

"Ah" I said "Yes, we dated when I was 16 and he was 18, let's say heart's, and eggs, were broken" I said

"Egg's?" She asked

"He broke up with me and transferred back to the rival school, and they, including him, egged me" I said "I was horrified, I'm was a Vegan back then so, but I changed to Vegetarian over the years"

"Sounds like he was a bad guy, so anymore titanic relationships after Jesse" She asked

"No, I had two more boyfriends after that, but they were great greats guys" I said

"And that's it for part 1, next up, what do Katy and Russell Brand have to say about married life, after 7 years together" She said "I'm Lisa Fitzpatrick and This, is Hollywood Exclusive" Then a buzzer when and I got up. "It was good having you on the show tonight Rachel" She said

"The Same, Nice meeting you" I said before walking off and into the changing room. I grabbed my coat and handbag and went out the back entrance. I hopped in my Range Rover and drove back to my Beach House in Malibu. I have been living in LA for 2 years. When I got inside my phone was ringing, which was strange, because the only think that rang was my blackberry, and it was usually my agent or manager. I picked it up.

"Hello" I said

"Rachel, hey it's your Dad" He said

"Dad" I said

"I called about an hour ago, but there was no answer" He said

"I had an interview in town" I said

"Oh, I heard you were pretty famous, Last month we couldn't turn on the radio without hearing your song" he said

"Oh" I said "Why did you call?"

"Um, you know your grandmother Lydia" He said

"Yeah" I said, I remember Lydia Berry, a well respected pillar of the Lima Community, Even though she had an eye patch, from a some kind of eye surgery, and walking frame, she broke her hip a few years back.

"She died" He said

"Oh" I said

"Well, her funeral is on Tuesday, if you are coming?" He said

"I don't know?" I said "I might be busy; I'll see what I can do. Where is?"

"St. Judith Church, in downtown" He said

"Of course, um, see ya" I said hanging up the phone and dropping it on the couch. I checked my schedule, praying that I was booked solid. Then I remembered my summer holidays started on Monday. So, I started packing a few things. I sprinted to the door when the doorbell rang.

"Dylan" I exclaimed when I answered the door. I hugged him. He was rather tall with sun tanned skin and surfer boy blonde hair "I thought you were in New York"

"Came back, baby" He said kissing my cheek. "So you doing anything this week? If not, you, me and my condo in Madeira" He said sitting down

"I can't I've got a..." I began

"Press conference" He said

"No" I said

"CD Signing" He guessed again

"No" I said

"I got it" He said "Audition"

"No" I said and he opened his mouth again, but I shushed him "I have to go back home for a few days"

"To Lima, Ohio" He said, he wasn't the smartest of guys, but he always showed off what he knew about girls.

"Yeah, my Grandma died, we were not that close though, she was mean to me, but was nice to everyone else, except dad as well. Her funeral is on Tuesday" I said

"Oh, sorry" He said

"I know, and the worst part is I won't be talking at all mostly" I said

"That's a bummer for you" He said "You like to talk"

"I know, everyone hates me I suppose, because I did something horrible, I couldn't take it anymore though, I didn't want to be..." I trailed off "Anyway, even talking to dad on the phone a few minutes ago was awkward" Everything was quiet for a few minutes then I got an Idea

"Hold on, I don't like that look on your face" He said

"You can come with me, I have someone to talk to" I said

"But, babe, I want to go to Spain" He complained

"How about this, we spend about a week in Lima, then we jet off to Spain for the rest of the summer" I suggested

"That's why I love you babe" He said

-X-MONDAY-X-

We landed in Lima airport at around 4pm, we went to the hotel and I got showered and changed. By the time we were both ready it was 6:30. We had already hired a car so we drove over to the house where my grandma lived, it was a little retirement village. We couldn't get parked near the house so we parked about 6 houses down. I had regretted wearing my black mini dress with sequin on the chest. It was freezing for the time of year, but it was Ohio. I had also worn my Black strappy heels and a black clutch bag. I got a few stares walking towards the house. I walked up into the house, in the living room there were a few old people sitting on the couch and seats. I recognised one of them

"Excuse me, Mrs. Potts" I said

"Oh, Rachel, Honey" She said "You scared me"

"Have you seen my dad's anywhere?" I asked

"I think they are in the kitchen" She said

"Who was that?" Dylan whispered to me

"Mrs. Potts, She lives next door" I said walking toward the kitchen.

"Rachel, you made it" My dad said coming over and kissing my cheek, my daddy was standing next to him in a few seconds.

"Hi" I said "Um, So rude, this is Dylan..." I began

"Cooper" My daddy finished

"Yeah" I said

"Nice to meet you" My dad said calmly shaking his hand.

"Well, I will go sit down in the living room, give you three some time to catch up" Dylan said walking away

"A rock star, really?" My daddy said

"Oh, I didn't know you knew who he was?" I said

"Where have you been, last time we spoke, it was New Years day, 5 years ago" My Daddy said

"I've been to New York, been in a Movie, Sold CD's been on Broadway, I have a career, I wouldn't of had that If I didn't leave" I said

"You could have done without it Rachel, no one ever needs to be a star" He said, my dad sat down quietly.

"I'm only back in town for a few days, and the way your practically attacking me now, makes me never want to come back, ever" I said

"Oh, Good" He said "Everyone has gotten used to you not being here for 5 years, what change will it make?"

"I only came back because Dad asked me to the funeral, and I'm not going until it's over, then that will be the last you'll hear from me, believe it" I said walking out of the kitchen. Everyone stared when I walked out, I didn't realise we must have been screaming. I went over to Dylan

"How much did you hear?" I asked nervous

"From, 'you could have done without it Rachel' to 'that will be that last you hear from me, believe it'" he said

"Good practically the whole conversation" I said walking toward the back door, he grabbed my hand "No, I want a few minutes alone" I walked out to the back yard, there were kids playing everywhere, probably ones visiting and daddy put all them outside to play. I sat down on the bench.

"Your very pretty" A little girl with Blonde pigtails and a purple dress on said "Why are you crying?"

"I had a fight with my dad" I said

"That's sad" She said

"Where's your mommy?" I said

"She's inside visiting" She said

"What age are you?" I asked

"I was 6 years old 1 month ago" She said

"That's very big" I said

"Yeah, my mommy lets me stay up to 10 now at night" She said

"Beth, I said don't talk to strangers" A woman said behind me "Rachel"

"Shelby" I said

"But, Mommy, the lady was crying" Beth said

"I'll talk to the lady, you go play" Shelby said sitting down next to me.

"Hi" I said

"Long time" She said

"Yeah" I said

"How's Hollywood?" She asked

"Sunny" I joked

"I saw the movie poster, and I thought it wasn't you so I went to see it" She said

"Oh" I said

"What's with the crying?" She asked

"Me and daddy had a fight" I said

"I heard" She laughed

"I've got to go, Dylan is waiting and he's really impatient" I said getting up, I went inside and couldn't see him; he must have been in the bathroom, so I went upstairs looking for him. I was coming close to the bathroom when I recognised someone.

"Quinn, what are you doing here?" I asked

"Rachel" She said shocked. "Um, I'm just waiting to use the bathroom"

"So, how have you been" I asked

"Good" She said awkward "You?"

"Good" I said

"I heard you were doing alright" She said

"What's up with everyone, all of you are not talking and it you do it's awkward" I said

"That's because we all hate you" She said "What you did to Puck? Remember?"

"Of course" I remember

"He had to raise that kid on his own, he was yours too" She said, I began to walk away, but she must have followed me "But you left didn't you Rachel"

"I did because I wasn't ready" I said

"Who is ready, you have to learn" She said I began walking away more, I got to the bottom of the stairs and found Dylan, and I grabbed his hand and began walking away. Quinn was standing on the stair

"Run away, Rachel" She yelled "That's what you always do"

"What is she talking about?" He asked me

"It doesn't matter" I said trying to get away

"You did it To Puck, and you're doing it now" She yelled out again

"Who are you?" Dylan stopped and asked "And what do you have against Rachel?"

"She never told you did she" Quinn said she was standing at the bottom of the stairs and our audience was growing "Before She became a big star, Rachel had a baby boy, Tyler, but little miss priss says she couldn't handle it, so she abandoned him with his father and flew off to New York, and hasn't spoken a word of him since"

"Is this true?" He asked me

"Don't listen to her" I said

"Don't lie Rachel, you ran away 5 years ago, from your responsibilities, you son, you boyfriend, you family your friends, and now you're doing it again, but this time you've got your Rock star in tow" She said. Dylan walked past me and out the door

"Dylan wait" I said following him. I had to practically run after him.

"Rachel, why didn't you tell me" He said

"I am embarrassed" I said "I always regretted that, if I could go back, I wouldn't have done it, but I have and I hate myself for it"

"You're a good actress, Rachel, but from what I heard you are a cold hearted witch who only cares about herself, we're over" He said

"You can't take the car, it's in my name" I yelled

"Okay, then I'll walk back to the hotel, get my stuff and go to Madeira without you" He said walking on. I got in the car and drove; I didn't know where I was going, I just kept driving, I didn't care where I was going.

"Damn it" I said as the car slowed down. I pulled it into the side of the road; the gas metre was at empty. I got out and tried to get signal on my blackberry. I called 'Hummel Car Repairs'. The woman on the other end told me to wait where I was until the truck came. Then I felt raindrops start to fall. "Can this day get any worse" I said and got back in the car. I must have sat there for ages until the truck came. It pulled in in front of me and I saw a dark figure come toward the car. He knocked on my window. I rolled it down to reveal Noah Puckerman.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Noah" I said nervous

"Long time no see, Rachel" He said "What seems to be the problem?"

"I ran out of Gas" I said

"Okay, hop into the truck, and I'll tow it back to the garage" He said going to open the door.

"What about my shoes, and my new dress" I asked, He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you'll survive" He said sarcastically "It's only rain after all" I got out and ran as fast as I could to the passenger side of the truck. After a few minutes he got into the drivers side.

"I wouldn't have thought Noah Puckerman would be a Mechanic" I said looking out the window next to me

"Well, at least I went to college" He said, I looked around to see him smirking, then looked back out the window "Okay, that was a bit mean"

"A bit?" I questioned, and he peeked over at me looking at me with one eyebrow raised, he laughed, then I laughed.

"So, why is Miss Superstar Berry back in Lima?" He asked

"Grandma Lydia's funeral is tomorrow" I said

"Oh" He said "I wouldn't have though you would have came alone, No one to talk to"

"I didn't come alone, Dylan came with me" I said "But we've broken up, because of Quinn and her big mouth"

"Remind me to thank her for that" He said, I looked at him angrily "Sorry, sorry"

"What happened to the Mohawk?" I asked

"Too old for it, Berry" He said "Like that dress is a bit too young for you", I hit him on the arm, have they gotten even bigger?

"I didn't realise that you're gay now" I said "Being interested in dresses and all"

"Shut it, Berry" He said, i looked out the passenger window smirking. It took another 5 minutes to get back to the garage, and Noah being Puck, parked at the petrol pumps.

"Oh, that reminds me" I said "The car is kind of hard to get stopped, i think there is something wrong with the brakes"

"I'll check, you just run over into the office and wait there" He said. I hopped he'd drive around first, but no. I got out and ran over the office. My straight hair had gotten wet and beginning to curl. I sat down on one of the desks there. I looked out the window and saw Noah filling up my car. After he was done he drove the car over to the doors.

"I see what you mean" He said getting out. I was waiting for about 5 minutes, when I heard a voice behind me.

"Puck, do you have the honda civic fixed yet?" It was Burt Hummel. He looked up form his clip board and seing my back "Rachel Berry?"

"Hi, Mr. Hummel, Noah is just fixing my car" I said

"Noah?" He asked not knowing who I was talking about then remembering Puck's name is Noah.

"Don't worry Rachel, I'm almost done" I heard Noah say from outside. After Burt went back into the house, I looked around on the desk. There was reciept, and invoices, but one thing that caught my eye was a picture of a boy around 5. He was sitting on a swing. He had dark brown hair with loose curls, with Hazel eyes. Then I heard Noah come in behind me

"He's really grown up" I said

"Yeah" He said "Well, you're car is ready"

"How much do I owe you?" I asked

"Um let's just say 50 bucks" He said, I took out my purse and handed him a fifty. I got in the car and drove back to the hotel. When I got there I could feel myself starting to cry, but I pulled myself together and walked towards the Hotel, but I was swarmed by photographers.

"What do you have to say about Dylan Cooper getting on his private jet, in Columbus, 30 minutes ago, without you?" One asked

"No Comment" I said

"Did you two break up?" Another one asked

"What fight did you get into at A wake?"

"What about the new rumours that you were a teen mom?" I finally got into the hotel and went up to the room.

I woke up at 10am the next morning and turned on the tv.

"Rachel Berry has been filing up headlines today again" Lisa Fitzpatrick said "It had been planned that Rachel and her current bo, Rockstar Dylan Cooper were spending a week in her hometown of Lima, Ohio, but yesterday Dylan was seen boarding his private jet in Columbus ALONE. Have the two broken up? And there are the romours that some shouting went down between Rachel and one of her high shcool classmates, with mention's of a Son. Was Ms. Rachel Berry a teenage mother and left it all behind? Was that the really bad thing she mentioned in her interview last week with me? And next up..." I grabbed the remote and turned off the television. Why did I come back? I hopped in the shower. The funeral was at 12:30, so I quickly dried a my hair, letting it curl naturally. I then put on a black Marc Jacobs Abigail Lace dress, a black over coat that went down to my knee, a black pair of Jimmy Choo Shoes, a black handbag, my tiffany's bracelet and finished it off with a pair of sunglasses. I went downstairs and there was a bunch of photographers outside. I just walked through the to my car ignoring the questions. I then couldn't get drove away.

"If you all don't move I'm going to call the police and sue each and every one of you for invasion of privacy" I yelled out my sunroof. That made them scatter into their cars and drive away. I got to the church at 12:35. I got there and opened the door. Everything seemed to go quiet and they all turned and looked at me. I took off my glasses and walked down the aisle to the first row and sat opposite my father's.

"Well, if we can continue" The preist said. Grandma Lydia was Catholic, and wasn't very happen when dad came out as gay, got married to a Jewish man and converted. After the mass was over Everyone walked over to the joining graveyard. I stood opposite my dad's again. Then everyone was invited to the school gym afterwards. I decided to go anyway. I drove over to the school. When I got there I walked inside and took of my coat to reveal my dress that was about halfway up my thigh.

"You have some nerve showing your face here" Mercedes said sitting opposite me, I looked up at her.

"Nice dress by the way" Kurt said sitting next to her. "My dad told me you were in town"

"So when are you leaving?" Mercedes said

"I'm staying for another week, well that's when my plane ticket is for" I siad

"Oh, jetting off to somewhere sunny, fantastic" She said

"I can get sun anytime I want Mercedes, you forget I live in LA" I said

"And New York, And London, And Spain" Kurt said butting in

"Well LA, is my main residence" I said

"Oh, that's great" She said

"You're kidding, I have nothing to do" I said "That's to Fabray, my boyfriend broke up with me"

"Good, better he breaks up with you" She said "Than you going all Diva like you always do and drive him away"

"I can control my critism now, Mercedes" I said "Yoga and Meditation helps"

"With what, Anger management or trying to look like you never had a kid" She said, I got up and grabbed my coat and handbag. I walked down the hall and ended up in the Choir room. I sat down at the piano and started playing a few notes. Then someone cleared their throat behind me.

"Mr. Schue, you scared me" I said

"I saw you walk past my office, I was grading papers" He said "You seemed upset"

"That is happening alot the past two day's" I siad "I have been confronted by my daddy, Quinn, Mercedes and Dylan left, the only people who was nice to me was Dad and Noah, which even I was surprised about, I thought he would have been the angriest"

"Well, Noah has no right to hate you, after you left he tried so hard to hate you, but he couldn't" Mr. Schue said

"But he was so calm, he never shouted, we just joked about" I said "Like old times"

"Well, he loves you" He said

"So, Mr. Schue how have you been?" I asked

"Alright" He said

"Still Single" I joked, he looked at me weirdly "You've no wedding ring"

"Actually I'm engaged, to Emma" He siad

"Ms. Pillsbury, what happened to the dentist?" I asked

"They divorced" He said, I giggled "So what about you, headlines, sunshine and recording studios must not take up all your time?"

"Actually, most of the time it is Recording studio's and interviews, press conferences and filming" I said "but I have had a few boyfriends, but some were kept out of the public eye"

"Oh" He said

"I really need advice" I said "I really want to stay now, After talking with Noah, I just want all that back now"

"I can't tell you what to do, Rachel" He said

"But, what about Tyler, He doesn't have a mom does he?" I asked

"Not that I heard of" He siad

"I am stuck between two choices now" I said "One, go back to LA and never come back, or Two, Stay and try and get my life back"

"Well, Tyler does need a mom" He said "But, I can't tell you what to do?" He got up and walked out.


End file.
